Greetings Terrans, and I apologise in advance for another mob of Conan minis – this time its Pirates… Sounds good right? Well strap in folks, these aren’t the finest minis the folks at Monolith have ever produced.
As usual for the Conan warband-sized minis, the group is built around a core of 15 identical models, with a number of groups of 5 added to the mob, plus a leader. Thankfully, there was only one ‘bonus’ unit of 5 for the Pirates. Anyway, here’s an example of the core 15:

Hmmm… yeah…
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If you thought that was bad, I also had 5 of these monstrosities:

Wow… ok.
Yup, that’s it folks. They are really poor mini if you ask me – little detail, even less texture, fucking miserable to paint… As with all the models so far, I used Contrasts, but the lack of texture and/or detail really show the limitations of this painting medium I think. Really, these should’ve been painted with layers to get the best out of them, but I just couldn’t be arsed to put that much effort into such poor models.
For all that, the most annoying thing about them is actually the terrible posing of the models. Packing them away in a normal mini case was fucking irritating, but having identical ‘dynamically posed’ minis is the real annoyance here… The guards from last week could get away with the duplication because ‘on guard’, the Undead could get away with it because ‘mindless automatons’, and the Picts jut about managed to carry it off because they were more broody & hulking rather than swashbuckling… These Pirates just fail in all respects.
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The only redemption for the pirate faction is that the leader mini isn’t too bad:

Not too shabby, perfect for Contrast paints, and I even tried to do his eyes to elevate him a bit, but to be honest, all my enthusiasm had buggered off by this point and I think it shows.
So here we are – a final group shot of these & then hopefully we can agree to collectively forget this ever happened:

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And that’s it for another week! I have one more mini-unit of underdogs to show you next time, and then we’re on to characters. Onward and upwards!
Well they actually weren’t as bad as I was expecting, though that might be your painting that has elevated them somewhat. I do however agree with you wholeheartedly about the posing, I’m not a fan of that legs akimbo weapons held out to the sides look (though it’s great for casting 😉 probably why its so popular with sculptors!). Makes them a total pain in the bum to pack away in boxes though.
As you say the Captains quite a nice figure though.
Cheers Roger.
Cheers mate – honestly, I’ve never felt less motivated to paint, but my one consolation was that even the most lacklustre of painting efforts could only improve them 😂
Can see what you mean about the poses Alex, not great, but at least you’ve got them finished, and can move onto something better
Yup, job done & move on 😊
Despite what you’ve said I think they look fine! :-) That has to be down to your painting!
More turds have been rolled in glitter 😆
Cheers mate
On the positive side I must say they aren’t as bad as I was expecting and despite your lack of love for them I think you’ve done as much as anyone could or would want to on the painting side. I also think the Pirate leader sculp is actually quite reasonable. As for the rest, less said the better but they are done now and you can move on to bigger and better things. How about a dragon? 😉.
Cheers mate, better things to follow for sure! Characters first, but there are some pretty cool monsters coming up after that, but sadly, no dragons ☹️
The leader figure looks good, and I love the green you used for him. But I can totally see what you mean about the others, and to be honest your painting is way above what they deserve :-)
Cheers mate, I quite like the Conquistador-type fella too but I’m just glad to have the rest done and dusted
Can see what you mean about the first two but the pirate guy isn’t too bad.
Cheers,
Pete.
Cheers mate, just glad to get them out of the way
That leader is a neat mini, but the crew – I see what you mean! You did a nice job on them nonetheless, and now they’re behind you, so there’s that.
Yeah, cheers mate – not the most fun I’ve ever had with a brush, but done is done 😉
Good work on some rather depressing minis. The leader seems like a decent sculpt though so hopefully you had fun there. Do you have something exciting for a reward once you ploughing through all of these Conan minis?
Cheers mate, yeah, in retrospect, the leader was nice to paint 🙂
No specific rewards in mind once these are done, but the monsters should segue nicely into carrying on with my Ghost Archipelago stuff 🤘
Wow – those are really shit miniatures aren’t they? You’ve still managed to do a good job with them though. I think I would have broken my own heart trying to find ways to improve them (undoubtedly with very limited success). Hope that doesn’t sound like I’m damning you with faint praise – there’s a knack to making rubbish miniatures look decent without driving yourself to drink along the way and it looks to me like you’ve pulled it off nicely.
The leader, it should be added, looks pretty good to my eye and you’ve given him the excellent paint job he deserves. He’s certainly not going to have to worry about any of his crew outshining him though!
Cheers mate, let’s just say that they are all little turds that I’ve managed to roll in glitter 😂
Haha you’re right on all counts. The posing is pretty static isn’t it. I think you’ve done well with what you’ve got mate. I guess it’s like asking a bricklayer to build a house with rocks. The leader is cool though.
Cheers dude, they don’t look worse for being painted so I’m calling that a win 👍